Hi Honey,
Today I was a coach for one of my favorite classes called Character Fusion. It's basically teaching people how to heal through energy work and acting combined. It's my favorite class from 3 Key Elements. I know it has helped me to personally work through a lot of my baggage and junk I had been carrying around.
I went home for lunch. I made a chicken sandwich and I decided I wanted some pickles to go with it. We didn't have any that were cut up and I didn't have much time so I just grabbed two pickles out and ate them whole. The funny thing was that I was trying to open the pickle jar and having a hard time since it wasn't previously opened before. I finally got it, but I also ended up spilling some of the pickle juice on my shirt.
Rather than going back to the class smelling like pickle juice, I decided to change my shirt. I explained to a few people why my shirt was different, but I don't think it really mattered. It's the same style of shirt, just a different color. I wonder if the people I didn't tell thought that I had a color changing shirt or something, or maybe they didn't notice. It reminded me of The Wizard of Oz where they have a "horse of a different color" AKA a color changing horse.
I don't know why, but I love volunteering. Maybe it has something to do with feeling like I am helping to make a difference in the world. I also love seeing the "Ah-ha" moments when something clicks for people. It's a great feeling that not a lot of people get to experience unless they do something related to teaching/education of some sort.
I have been trying to figure out what my "element" is this past week. It has been a hard quest. Technically I have been on this quest since I left my ex in 2013. I lost myself and I was trying to find myself again. Then I discovered that I don't have to "find myself." I can recreate myself and my life. A lot of people have mocked me and teased me making the path a lot rockier than if they weren't, but those are the people who are going to look at me when I do make it and say that they knew me back when.
I think this is one of the hardest things for me is trying to create my life by myself when before I was creating it with my ex and his son. I miss brainstorming ideas with someone. We were planning and talking about going to Disneyland before I left. It was a good distraction. I hope he still went with his son. Heaven knows I didn't.
I guess the reason why it is so hard to dream up the future/my future life is because I want you in it and I want to know what you want too. My life would just continue to have this void of feeling like there was something missing without you in it.
I mean, I know I can do this on my own. Well, eventually when I figure out my finances. Don't marry someone who talks you into stupid financial decisions and those decisions are in your name, but they lived off of them too and because they are in your name you are the one required to pay them back. Just don't do that. Learn from my mistakes please! That's something I will inform our future children of.
I came home from Character Fusion and took myself on a "date." I had hot chocolate, string cheese, and strawberry ice cream for dinner. I know. Not very healthy, but I couldn't find anything that looked good to eat/make to eat.
Life was so much easier when I had a menu and recipes that I made for dinner and my own kitchen. Here I don't know what I can and can't use without someone getting mad at me for using their whatever it is that they were going to use for XYZ. It makes it really hard to cook.
After "dinner" I took some pictures kissing a frog for fun/for the heck of it. Hey, you aren't here to kiss or I would kiss you. ;) Well, technically those were my pictures for today for my daily picture album I'm making for you. So, I guess they are yours anyway.
After that, I had a lovely bubble bath and read more of my Finding Your Element book. I wish I knew what my element was, like my main one if there is such a thing. I feel like I'm a jack of all trades learning bits and pieces of things from lots of different fields of study. I love learning about health and wellness, personal development, writing, teaching, business, investing, etc. and I haven't laser focused on just one area because I find all of them interesting. How am I supposed to become a kind of "specialist in my field" if I can't decide what field I want to play in? Can I play in all of them?
Well, honey bunny, it's time for bed. I have another day of Character Fusion fun coming my way tomorrow. I wish you could come. It's like an acting class. I love seeing how all of the different groups decide they are going to practice the script. Some of them all practice together at the same time, some divide up into pairs and practice then get back together as a big group, some practice on their own and then practice as a big group. I like how they look up to me as a coach and want to learn from me too. It makes me feel like what I have to say really does matter to them and helps them to be better.
I think for me the most effective thing was when I was working with at least one person and using the movements and gestures to help me remember the lines, kind of like muscle memory. It's like I pictured myself being that character and taking on those traits. That's why it's called Character Fusion. You are fusing those characters onto you so that you can take them wherever you go.
Time for bed. I love you forever!
Love,
Your future wife, Tiffany
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